It’s Not Easy. 

11:34pm: yeah it’s late but something sparked this post.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I know it’s hard being a single mom”

 

Seems harmless right?

I’ve heard this a lot in the past 2+ years. It’s been getting under my skin lately because when I hear this… It’s coming from

  • Married women
  • Employers
  • Daycare Providers
  • Guys I’ve dated… well blown off for dates.

People that I’m certain are not now and were never single mothers.

So maybe I just misunderstood you guys… you are obviously saying

“I THINK it’s hard being a single mom”

Because I’m just not seeing how you KNOW about something so well that you are willing to say it to me with SUCH conviction that I almost feel bad for you…
What?

Seriously …

ok. Let me tell you somethings I know are quite hard (since difficulty is the focal point of your knowledge):

  • It’s hard being twentysomething
  • It’s hard being a woman
  • It’s hard being a woman of color
  • It’s hard being a woman of color in a country where society devalues who you are upon first glance
  • It’s hard having student loans
  • It’s hard having student loans with no real career in the foreseeable future and knowing you may never pay them off
  • It’s hard losing the person you love and never being able to see them again
  • It’s hard losing the person you thought loved you and having to see them consistently tearing you down…
  • It’s hard seeing the joy they get out of your pain
  • It’s hard having anxiety
  • It’s hard having depression
  • It’s hard to listen people throw around the words “crazy” or “suicidal” to describe themselves after watching game of thrones (or something else with shock value)
  • It’s hard to love someone
  • It’s harder if you don’t love yourself
  • It’s hard to constantly try to rise above the negativity and “keep your head up”
  • It’s hard to ask for help
  • It’s hard to rid your life of toxic people
  • It’s hard to right someone who doesn’t believe they are wrong…ever
  • It’s hard to please everyone

… anyone.

To be real,

raising my daughter is THE most fun, rewarding, and enriching things I do in my life.

Compared to some of the things I’ve had to deal with … it’s the easiest.

What is hard… is hearing that it is inconvenient to you … and you disguising that annoyance into “empathy” for me.

You may have seen in a movie that being a single mom is “hard”.

Maybe you’ve been told by someone.

Maybe you’ve read it in a book.

But you do not KNOW what being a single mom is to me.
-eb

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