11:34pm: yeah it’s late but something sparked this post.
“I know it’s hard being a single mom”
Seems harmless right?
I’ve heard this a lot in the past 2+ years. It’s been getting under my skin lately because when I hear this… It’s coming from
- Married women
- Daycare Providers
- Guys I’ve dated… well blown off for dates.
People that I’m certain are not now and were never single mothers.
So maybe I just misunderstood you guys… you are obviously saying
“I THINK it’s hard being a single mom”
Because I’m just not seeing how you KNOW about something so well that you are willing to say it to me with SUCH conviction that I almost feel bad for you…
ok. Let me tell you somethings I know are quite hard (since difficulty is the focal point of your knowledge):
- It’s hard being twentysomething
- It’s hard being a woman
- It’s hard being a woman of color
- It’s hard being a woman of color in a country where society devalues who you are upon first glance
- It’s hard having student loans
- It’s hard having student loans with no real career in the foreseeable future and knowing you may never pay them off
- It’s hard losing the person you love and never being able to see them again
- It’s hard losing the person you thought loved you and having to see them consistently tearing you down…
- It’s hard seeing the joy they get out of your pain
- It’s hard having anxiety
- It’s hard having depression
- It’s hard to listen people throw around the words “crazy” or “suicidal” to describe themselves after watching game of thrones (or something else with shock value)
- It’s hard to love someone
- It’s harder if you don’t love yourself
- It’s hard to constantly try to rise above the negativity and “keep your head up”
- It’s hard to ask for help
- It’s hard to rid your life of toxic people
- It’s hard to right someone who doesn’t believe they are wrong…ever
- It’s hard to please everyone
To be real,
raising my daughter is THE most fun, rewarding, and enriching things I do in my life.
Compared to some of the things I’ve had to deal with … it’s the easiest.
What is hard… is hearing that it is inconvenient to you … and you disguising that annoyance into “empathy” for me.
You may have seen in a movie that being a single mom is “hard”.
Maybe you’ve been told by someone.
Maybe you’ve read it in a book.
But you do not KNOW what being a single mom is to me.