#Flexicution

It’s been a minute. We’ve been busy..moved to a super dope house got a new job… moved up and around…ya know. Doin thangs.

I know, I know, I know, I know, I know
That I’ve been M.I.A, but I was tied up
Till I heard you talking shit, now I’m fired up”

 

But I did post on the fb page so obvi you have been in the loop. Probably a lot more than normally not too sure if that is good…bad…whatever but I said I was an open book from the beginning so it’s open.

Before we get started, let me just say how incredibly blessed I am that I have such supportive followers and friends! You all are absolutely amazing and the fact that I still have new followers every single day from all over the world makes my heart skip a beat forreal. Thank you for giving me the time to handle my bidnass and not giving up on Sound of Reign.

As for the “GFM”…I knew as soon as I posted it, I would be open to critique or interpretation or whatever you might call it. And while over 200 comments and shares were positive and supportive but there were obvi the few and the damn proud who wanted a piece of what was never intended to be drama. Ever since I have been thinking of creative and kind ways to respond to the few potent pieces of bull I had the pleasure of seeing and the only thing I could find any truth or solace in was the fact that it is not just me. In every sense… dealing with issues well above my control… but I am not the only one who reached out to the world for a solution…for help towards finding that solution and though it, to me was a call for help and a call to action… and I was DRAGGED for it. But not just me.

 

Everyone wants women to be “woke”. Women aren’t supposed to be these princesses locked away waiting to be saved in 2016 right? Stand up for what is right, equal everything, support other women, choose a career over a man, be attractive but do not show off too much. Be strong but not intimidating. Be your best self but not better than the rest. So we as women are equal right? Unless some women were never equal to begin with. Speak up when it has to do with US and not just YOU. If I cannot relate to it directly then it is not a true issue and is not worth being said.

Everyone wants minorities to be “woke”. We shouldn’t have to march like it’s the 60s to be treated like a human being in 2016 right? Acknowledge that there are bad people in the powerful positions but not everyone in a powerful position is bad. People who do not look like you can sympathize and agree with you and should not be “choosing sides” in the process.

When I actually confronted one of the negative comments the only thing I could say to her to try to get her to see the situation clearly was “take us (fi and I) out of it” and no, that did not get her to actually think about the situation from something other than a bitter standpoint. I could have painted a rainbow in front of her house that spelled out her name and she still would have found a reason to call me some type of stupid B* along with some other mindless insults.

That did not stop me from thinking about it more though. If you take us out of it… this still looks familiar right… on a much larger scale if you just plug in the parts of the equations

Woman + acknowledges flaw in larger system publicly + points towards a few things that could be the issue = wide range of support – some dragging and hate.

I try not to take it personally… you will never be good enough for everyone but damn…sometimes just being SOMEONE is bad enough.

The little bit of backlash I got was nothing compared to the horrible things I read everyday. To be honest I was ready for way worse. I am surprised I am pissed off. Not because the same ignorant people I reference daily had something ignorant to say…but because people can still question why rape victims stay silent for so long… why people of all ages commit suicide… why depression is a REAL thing…why “black lives matter”

Because the world puts more effort into hate than respect. It gets more attention and takes less courage.  Is it really easier to dig up negative stories of a DECEASED human being than it is to acknowledge the accomplishments of…anyone?

I encourage healthy, intelligent debates. I am all about an exchange of ideas but profanity and insults are not included in that description. But instead of lashing out in anger let me just give a bit of information because  if you know better you’ll do better.

The reason I brought all of this up is because I truly believe there is a flaw in the legal system in Saint Mary’s County. I spoke with many different attorneys who refused to take cases in that area because of the judge(s) and the particular opposing attorney. So many of them had their own way of stating that “things just aren’t done right” in St. Mary’s and it would be a waste of time and A LOT of money if I didn’t just give in. I cannot help but think that is not only me… I know for sure it is not only me… but LIKE ME, it is easier for many others to take an easy way out to avoid the costs of a trial may be unethically tried. I tried my best not to point fingers at anyone or trash anyone but even in the most hypothetical of situations, two parents should not be in court almost every 6 months or less. Rehashing the same things with no result. No one should be able to say such horrible and slanderous things about a parent and have those concerns addressed at a later date that you will receive in the mail even though you drove 200 miles to get here with a toddler in tow. No one should be in a courthouse once a month for 6 months straight with ABSOLUTELY no result or resolution. I am not saying anyone is better than anyone else but to make a mother continuously face a man who has been convicted of domestic violence and has a documented history of physical violence against women (the mothers of his children in particular) is sick. To do this on such a consistent basis with no foreseeable end is disgraceful. To allow this man to utter any form of unfit parent in any direction away from a mirror is disgusting. Then to take all of that in and send that same (now traumatized mother) on her way to continue to provide for this child physically and financially as she has been for the child’s entire life with nothing but a guaranteed letter in the mail demanding she do the same thing in 3 weeks or less… is what the HELL I AM TALKING ABOUT.

I am certainly not asking for pity which I think was the misconception. Feel pity for literally anyone else going through this. Feel pity for men and women who feel hopeless spending their grocery money on attorneys to fight an abused and unethical court system. That is the point I needed to make and I promised to address any questions or concerns (no matter how poorly worded)

Courtesy of Facebook

“There are 2 sides to every stories”

–I’d say 3. If you include casesearch

“I feel sorry for the dad”

— I sincerely laughed… because looking at who you are… “the dad” couldn’t care less about who you are. Sorry for him or not he wouldn’t have anything good to say about you. Not there is too much to say. hmm

“These B*tches will do anything these days”

–Now, this is something your mother or other respected woman in you life should have informed you of BUT let me be the first to tell you something that may prove to be valuable at some point. Women, have opinions … along with thoughts, feelings, and free will. Stay with me… I know you are cringing… Women are open to express all of the above
AND…
you may not agree with them…
here is where it gets interesting… their opinion, does not make them a bitch… their gender does not make them a bitch, their thoughts, feelings, expressions, clothing, demeanor, etc does not make them subject to your derogatory terms. crazy. I know.

Firing back would be easy… but for most of the Baynet basically covered it all for me.

giphy (2)

But I guess I will take all of these terms over “bad parent” …. that’s not for me. I am grateful for all of the support I have received since sharing my story I even appreciate all of the negative feedback because it brought light to the reason people don’t say anything when things like this happen, the reason that things like this keep happening. It has been a month since I posted “seriously, get your kids” but this post has been sitting in my drafts for WEEKS. Like I said we have been on the move (literally) and I have been working a lot with SCE trying to build the brand over there, I have done some photo shoots… just working at all angles you know. But the main reason I did not post this was sincerely out of fear… That being me is always going to be twisted into being something horrible. Any anger I have towards the situation is “crazy” and any valid co-parenting concerns I have like “where is our child going to daycare?” makes me “unfit” so I held off …until… Friday… when I took off work (yet again) to travel 3+ hours (yet again) to get to bed at 2 am and up at 7 to be told “this hearing was scheduled by mistake” (you guessed it… again). A big enough mistake that the other person did not show up for this mistake hearing… or change their schedule at all. A mistake that has been on internet for almost a month. A 400 mile, over 100$, mistake. At that point, I realized that it isn’t about what I say, when I say it, on what platform… who I date… where I live… my level of education… my career… the size of my home or the path I have created for Fi and I. It is that I am still, as the gentleman on Facebook called it, “that b*itch”, who had the nerve to leave not only the prominent white male who was “gave her a shot” (as the officers who responded to one of the first domestic violence calls to our home 2 and a half years ago, so nicely put it), but to leave the county that had no opportunity for personal growth or development. Yep, I had the nerve to take my college degree, take and leap, and try to create an actual future for us that did not begin and end in country lakes.  While doing so, I made many attempts to adult and co-parent the way I learned how to in the $120.00 court ordered parenting class I stayed awake through last summer. None of that matters to the court who is doing what is in the best interest of a child… by feeding into the tantrums of an older… child.

but anyways…

In the style of all things SOR, Fi has a twitter. yep. It only seems fitting for the most opinionated 2 year old to join the world of mess. So if you’re looking for all of the normal witty and cute stuff that normally comes from this house its currently on @fispeaks

I appreciate all of the following and support since the past month! Again I am still shocked when I get on here and see new followers and new views. Thanks for keeping up with me while I am seemingly loosing myself. Hopefully this will all be over soon. Pray to the gods of all this social media that the right people stumble across my nonsense. In the meantime, if its cool with you I will be sharing some of my upcoming/ recent shoots with some beautiful people (ya know instead of creating a whole new site for that) Fi is pretty active so that will always be up to date. I will be traveling a lot between now and November and knowing us, it will be an EVENT. And lastly, online dating… someone asked me to figure this whole thing out forgetting that I am awkward so why not…

See you in less than a month, promise,

-eb

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